Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Dreams & Demons

I have a serious new fictional crush: Azhrarn the Demon Prince of Tanith Lee's Night's Master has stolen my heart. He is deliciously evil and swoonworthy. And I'm taken with Ms. Lee has as well- her writing style is absolute perfection. It's effortlessly elegant and storyteller-ish. I have no better word than that, but it's very like listening to an oral story. There's a vibe that's not unlike Neil Gaiman, that sparks a feeling that she's telling the story aloud to an intimate audience. And like my ever-beloved Mr. Gaiman, she makes me want to write fiction.

Here's the link, if you like. It links to my affiliate account, to support my hungry addiction.


I'm going to spend some time on my story today, after relating my dream here and probably while taking breaks from illustrating. I have won permission for an orgy and some dirty satyr sex and I am as pleased as you'd imagine by this.

So I woke this morning from a dream of my mom, and Drew Barrymore, and the collapse of the United States. Only the country was actually my high school. My recurring anxiety element of a malfunctioning telephone appeared- I was trying to reach my mom to pick me up from school, but I couldn't reach her. I have that dream often, either failing to reach Mom or Shane usually. Eventually I made it out of the suddenly civil-warring country/school and then home to the apartment I shared with mom and my brother, above where he and my aunt still live- and mom was very blasé, though I was hysterical with relief to finally see her. She'd been missing for months in the dream. (Admittedly that's much preferable to her being dead for more than a decade, and also to the zombie undead mom nightmares I used to have.) We ate delicious beans and rice that my brother had made and Jessica Simpson lived with us, inexplicably.

Simultaneously it seemed, in a parallel time stream, I had escaped instead to some posh apartment where Drew Barrymore (a crush who is a far more logical and welcome dream star than Jessica) and there was going to be some hot Drew sex but I had just learned I was HIV+ and didn't wish to be unsafe. It just popped into my head at the last minute. A terrible pity to be so close to a sex dream and miss the mark, but at least my dreamself is a responsible partner.

And then I awoke and watched The Pirate Fairy with the little one while I had my coffee. We planned some crafty activities but she was invited to the neighbors' and I have a quiet afternoon to write and draw. She wants to make a book with a hidden hollow piece, which sounds delightful to me, so tomorrow we'll make that. 

Off with me now. I have a date with a demon or two, some horny satyrs, and many evil trees. 

Friday, June 20, 2014

Summer Solstice


Here is a shift that's happened in my late thirties: Summer is now evil. The hormones that have turbocharged my libido and turned my PMDD up to eleven have made me a feverish sweat volcano, even when it's cool. When it's hot like this, I believe I'm splitting atoms in my pants. By way of apologizing for that imagery, please accept a sunshine doodle.

And now I have a satyr orgy under a grove of evil trees waiting for me. 
... For me to DRAW.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Digital Do-ings

Blame Jessica.

Ages ago, the ridiculously talented and unfathomably beautiful myriad-media artist Jess told me she loved my to-do list posts. I have several large and small things needing my attention so I'll share them, and that definitely is not a sneaky attempt to pretend to write while actually organizing my thoughts in a totally self-serving way. I would never.

And so I present to you my Things:
  • Finalize agreements  (Much thanks to Geoffrey & the 'Dreams of Ruin' art team.) and read manuscript for an illustration project of orgasmic nerdiness.
  • Install new widget for Answers.com partnership. w00t! Thanks, Jake:)
  • Continue to dig through my blog to identify the offending links that appear to be spam and attempt to unravel the confusion of how one hosts ads directly, as in not Adsense, without violating G's terms. I make infinitely more money selling my few ads directly than I've ever made with Adsense, because I'm fairly sure I've only made pennies with Google. I'm probably doing it wrong, which leads to my need to:
  • Follow more purposefully the posts of bloggers who know their shit, particularly Cecily Kellogg and Elan Morgan, respectively of Uppercase Woman and Schmutzie.com to divine the deeper tricks of blogging with a more career-oriented bent. I'm hearing a loud, echoing NOTHING about my disability. 
  • Research smartphones and decide if I should stick with the iPhone and buy a 5c or try another brand.
  • Redesign my branding to match my newish header, including maybe creating an entirely new header but probably not.
  • Start using this lovely guide to create blog post images that will fit each social media site, if further pondering brings me to attempt this. I'm not about to create 4-5 different aspect ratios for each image. 
Life of a ADD-addled mommyblogger during the summer: the short list post took 6 hours to write, and items were being finished before the plan to do them was complete.

And now, in response to ominous, sexy thunder, I'm shutting down for a while. Who else thinks thunder is totally hot?