daisybones: Quit, don't quit. Noodles, don't noodles.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Quit, don't quit. Noodles, don't noodles.

I'm feeling some blogger disenchantment. Rarely leaving a bed for two years gives one the feeling one has nothing valuable to say. I've made pretty doodles when sitting up works, but I don't feel much verbal content happening. To write a life, a life needs to be happening. I've called this time A Pause, and I've (usually: see Crystal's digging my soul from a slump) been seeing this as a necessary healing time. I've thought about taking an official blog vacation for a while, but I'll probably want to share my recovery after Monday. Is that 5 days? I am so fucking excited for that.

I'll put the Etsy shop in vacation mode and make a call about the blog later.

I think every year I age I edge just a tiny bit closer to knowing myself in that I'm a changing fluxing person. That mutability is what defines me so much, and I've always seen it as a weakness in me, though conceptually it appeals. I feel I spent all of my life until motherhood trying to dig out a One True Self from the chaos soup that is really me, never seeing that chaos soup is fertile ground.

Hail Chaos Soup. With noodles or not.

Hail Monday and scalpels and electrodes.

Hail the shadows and the light and the rainbows and storms.

Hail knowing there is no secret ingredient; There is just you.